#humour

... you have not asked me, for instance, what is my favourite flavour of jam, to check that I am indeed Professor Dumbledore, and not an imposter." [...] "For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry ... although of course if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam-preferences before impersonating myself. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

Can we all just stop being dicks?! ↗

— Adam Hills

#life-advice #life

Sometimes I think about dying. And then I wonder about going to hell. And then I think that if and when I go there, the place will be completely organized and run by lost souls, with a council and a works committee and an ethics panel, and I'll feel right at home. ↗

— Charles Sheffield

#government #hell #humour #death

Good taste is death. Vulgarity is life. ↗

— Mary Quant

#humourous #death

Death by creaming ↗

— Yvonne Leishman

#death

I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#ageing #death #discrimination #humour #life

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#philosophy #death

Take it!" he snarled, hurling the diamond necklace across the table at his opponent. "And may you rot in hell with it!" "I should not dream of intruding upon you there," replied Mr Brundy, bowing deeply from the waist. ↗

— Sheri Cobb South

#humour #dreams

There was a family joke that Lucy's first words were, "Nicholas is bugging me! ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#lucy #solange #family

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#humour #misanthropy #perspective #equality