#humour

Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper. "Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said. "Inside joke. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#smile

Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'" I stared at him, shocked. The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after." Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#smile

A man who trusts everyone is a fool and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough. ↗

— Robert Jordan

#humour #trust

I don't hate people. I just feel better when they aren't around. ↗

— Charles Bukowski

#misanthropy #people

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way. ↗

— Charles Bukowski

#time

You really saw some?" Liz said an hour later. Sure, we had the stereo blaring and the shower running, but Liz still whispered, "They really...exist?" "Liz," I whispered back, "they're not unicorns." "No," Bex said flatly, "they're boys. And they're...good. ↗

— Ally Carter

#humour #series #spy #hope

Why do boys say someone acts like a girl as if it were an insult? ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#stereotypes #acting

I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are famous for being led to slaughter, or sometimes hanging out with lions in ill-advised relationships. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#funny #humor #humour #lambs #slaughter

Somebody should have taken him to a stationary store and pointed out the difference between an envelope and a whore. ↗

— Richard Brautigan

#humour #noir #stationary #dreams

Simon: You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are you'll be under my knife again, often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly: No matter what you do or say or plot, no matter how you come down on us, I will never, ever harm you. You're on this table, you're safe... 'cause I'm your medic. And however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies, and more than enough of both. Now, we could circle each other and growl, sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done, I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same. 'Cause I don't see this working any other way. River: Also, I can kill you with my brain. ↗

— Ben Edlund

#humour #team-work #truce #trust #understanding