#humour

Sometimes it’s better to fail with pride, than to succeed at a price ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humour #life #philosophy #success #wisdom

Cheer up everyone," he said, a new brightness to his voice. "Since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about? ↗

— Derek Landy

#humour #humor

The thought of talking about it made Pueblo's gut ache, but then he thought of everything that Amy had been through – not that she'd told him her version yet. She had balls of steel, he thought with a smile. And what did he have? Three pairs of loin cloths going crisp on the radiator. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#bravery #hero #heroine #humor #humour

Did I say stab of Self Pity? No, I was trekking through the Swamp of Self Pity at this point, waist deep in my own stinking shit. ↗

— Nicole Hamlett

#humour #humor

...the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #humour #jokes #humor

Operation 'forget bossy werewolf guy' has been green-lighted?" Sally asked. Jen covered her face and groaned at Sally's words. "Did you seriously just say that? Operation forget bossy werewolf guy? Really, Sally?" Sally nodded in all seriousness. "Well, if you're going to call our night out an operation – and you know how I love ops– at least get it right. It's operation 'forget freaking fine, brooding, bossy werewolf guy'," Jen supplied. "Good call. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#just-one-drop #love

You were small, but far-famed. We were in Oldtown at your birth, and all the city talked of was the monster that had been born to the King’s Hand, and what such an omen might foretell for the realm.” “Famine, plague, and war, no doubt.” Tyrion gave a sour smile. “It’s always famine, plague, and war. Oh, and winter, and the long night that never ends.” “All that,” said Prince Oberyn, “and your father’s fall as well. Lord Tywin had made himself greater than King Aerys, I heard one begging brother preach, but only a god is meant to stand above a king. You were his curse, a punishment sent by the gods to teach him that he was no better than any other man.” “I try, but he refuses to learn.” Tyrion gave a sigh. “But do go on, I pray you. I love a good tale.” “And well you might, since you were said to have one, a stiff curly tail like a swine’s. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#love

I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me. ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#humourous #puns #satire-write #business

She didn't want the medi-techs. She wanted a fucking candy bar. [...] She reached down [...] and chose a Galaxy bar [...] "I'm going home." "You didn't pay for that," Francois shouted after her. "Fuck you, Frank," she shouted back and kept going. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#humour #death

There are undoubtedly advantages to being dead, said Julius. ↗

— Jonas Jonasson

#humour #death