#humour

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. ↗

— Peter Ustinov

#hell #humor #humour #stereotypes #humor

You ride as a man, fight as a man, and you think as a man-" "I think as a human being," she retorted hotly. "Men don't think any differently from women- they just make more noise about being able to. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#gender-stereotypes #humour #men

Hells yeah. You kidding? Gay men are hot. ↗

— Rachel West

#men

A horse loves freedom, and the weariest old work horse will roll on the ground or break into a lumbering gallop when he is turned loose into the open. ↗

— Gerald Raftery

#humour #spirit #freedom

When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. "Put your clothes in for a wash," he said. "They were disgusting." Ginny always thought that the only way of getting clothes clean was by drowning them in scalding water and then whipping them around in a violent centrifugal motion that caused the entire washing machine to vibrate and the floor to shake. You beat them clean. You made them suffer. This machine used about half a cup of water and was about as violent as a toaster, plus it stopped every few minutes, as if it were exhausted from the effort of turning itself. Sluff, sluff, sluff sluff. Rest. Rest. Rest. Click. Sluff, sluff, sluff, sluff. Rest. Rest. Rest. "Who thought to put a window on a washing machine?" Keith asked. "Does anyone just sit and watch their wash?" You mean, besides us?" "Well," he said, "yeah. Is there any coffee? ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#ginny #humor #humour #keith #funny

It was a smooth silvery voice that matched her hair. It had a tiny tinkle in it, like bells in a doll's house. I thought that was silly as soon as I thought of it. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#humour #metaphor #simile #simile

This must be Thursday... I never could get the hang of Thursdays. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#scifi #scifi

Just because he likes the same bizzaro crap as you doesn't mean he's your soul mate. ↗

— Rachel Hansen

#love #relationships #soul-mate #love

Tell me what you do with the food you eat, and I’ll tell you who you are. Some turn their food into fat and manure, some into work and good humor, and others, I’m told, into God.” - Zorba. ↗

— Nikos Kazantzakis

#food #god #humour #work #zorba

Okay,” Cooper says agreeably. “But what if you and Nigel fall in love, and Nigel and I become BFFs, and then you guys get married, and Nigel wants me to be the best man, and you and I have to talk about the wedding plans?” “That would never happen, because since Nigel would be so in love with me, he would have dumped you as a BFF as soon as we got engaged and/or told you you were not allowed to be best man at our wedding, per my wishes.” “Yes, but—” “Wait a minute,” I say. “Did you just say ‘BFF’?” “Yes,” he says. He looks at me and shrugs. “I’ve been watching a lot of Disney Channel. ↗

— Lauren Barnholdt

#humour #change