#humour

[startling Giles by walking in on him singing] (Spike) You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his résumé, you might wanna cast an eye to the front door every now and again. ↗

— Doug Petrie

#humour #irony #snark #irony

It's hard to maintain a reputation for being grim and mysterious when you're accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at your side, holding your hand, and smiling sweetly on one and all. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#irony #irony

Cal: “Could you write a little bigger? I’m not sure China saw that.” Every Boy's Got One ↗

— Meg Cabot

#cute

Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says people need to shave twice a day. ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#bullying

Are you scared? I understand. The first time I saw my reflection in the mirror, even I was frightened by how BIG my reflection was. ↗

— Atsushi Ohkubo

#humour #manga #manga

Yes. We will live the rest of our lives in hell. It's not so bad: as long as you're prepared for it, you can live anywhere. ↗

— Mizuki Nomura

#manga #manga

If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday. I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun—I’m afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#destruction #earthquakes #floods #funny #funny-and-random

Optimism was for children. Once you reached adulthood then you had to join the rest of the world as a realist - life was a bag of shit you were expected to pay for. ↗

— N.C. Thomas

#pessimism #realism #life

All we know of the Missing Link is that he is missing - and he won't be missed either. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humour #science #science

I was in the Square at the time. The crowd was a most good-humoured, easy going, smiling crowd; but presently it was transformed. A regiment of mounted police came cantering up. ↗

— Edward Carpenter

#crowd #easy #going #good-humoured #i