#humour

Men are scumbags until they prove they're women. ↗

— Robin Mellom

#humour #love

One of the lambs fixed its attention on Jared. “Baa,” it flirted. “Boo,” said Jared. “Oh my God, Jared. Don’t tough-talk the lambs.” "It was giving me a funny look. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#funny

In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem. Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea. Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit. Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll. ↗

— David Walliams

#britishness #cake #humour #tea #tyrannosaurus-rex

I definitely try to mix humour into anything I do, even if it is into a drama. ↗

— Jorge Garcia

#definitely #drama #even #humour #i

Humour is a great vehicle for getting a message across. If you get too serious, you could die of starch. ↗

— Cyndi Lauper

#could #die #get #getting #great

I'm definitely responsible for the image that I put out there. But it does become frustrating, because I don't want 'sexy' to be my defining characteristic. I'd love for my ambition and will and intellect and sense of humour to define me as well. ↗

— Eva Mendes

#because #become #characteristic #define #defining

Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use. ↗

— Mark Twain

#funny #humour #review #funny

Prudent people are very happy; 'tis an exceeding fine thing, that's certain, but I was born without it, and shall retain to my day of Death the Humour of saying what I think. ↗

— Mary Wortley Montagu

#certain #day #death #exceeding #fine

Tom, how many children do you think I have to have before I figure out you get them by having sex?" "Of course there would be protection," he offered. "Tons of it. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#robyn-carr #romance #romantic #romantic

They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor #humour #shopping #funny