#humour

The name of the new religion," said Rumfoord, "is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#religion

What happened to the days of the hero rescuing the damsel in distress?" Not that I could envisage Heather as a damsel in distress. "Those days are long gone, Brendan. Nowadays, the damsel takes care of herself, and on occasion she might even rescue the hero, if she feels he deserves it." "I'm screwed, then. ↗

— Elizabeth Morgan

#paranormal-romance-werewolves #paranormal-series #werewolves

I was in Cancun, Mexico, sitting in a disappearing-edge swimming pool, on a bar stool that was actually under the water, watching palm trees sway in a sultry breeze against the unmistakable aqua splendor of the Caribbean Sea; drinking coconut, lime, and tequila from a scooped-out pineapple, with salt spray of breaking surf and sun kissing my skin. Translation: I'd died and gone to heaven. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#the-sun-watches-the-sun

He had them as spellbound as a room full of Ewoks listening to C-3PO. ↗

— Cory Doctorow

#humour #robots #scifi #spellbinding #star-wars

Good-humoured, unaffected girls, will not do for a man who has been used to sensible women. They are two distinct orders of being. ↗

— Jane Austen

#being #distinct #good-humoured #man #orders

Among all kinds of Writing, there is none in which Authors are more apt to miscarry than in Works of Humour, as there is none in which they are more ambitious to excel. ↗

— Joseph Addison

#among #apt #authors #excel #humour

You are old and grey,” she teased. “And you’re never too immortal for a spanking,” he shot back... ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humor #humour #immortal #mary-and-gwain #sexy

All worthy work is open to interpretations the author did not intend. Art isn't your pet -- it's your kid. It grows up and talks back to you. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#humour #inspirational #interpretation #art

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes. ↗

— Steven Winterburn

#assholes #depression #humor #humour #low-self-esteem

Marcus looked down. “Ah, man! This was my favorite shirt. Who tore it?” he asked, trying to pull the ragged edges together. ↗

— Ripley Patton

#comedy #humour #life-and-living #anger