#humour

After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives? ↗

— Tom Holt

#science #science

In my universe, when a dork like Oscar pushes up on a girl like Jenni, he usually gets bounced faster than your tía Daisy's rent checks, but Jenni must have had brain damage or been really into fat loser nerdboys, because by the end of February she was actually treating him all civil and shit. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#life

If you find yourself cutting corners, go in a circle instead ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#comedy #humor #humour #life #philosophy

Stop worrying about life, no one survived it. ↗

— AJ Shazad

#humour #life #quote #quotes #survival

life is like wheel it goes around and comes around ↗

— progress chisara

#humour #love #life

There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly. ↗

— Woody Allen

#life #food

The Romans always wanted bread and circuses-food and entertainement! As we destroy their city, I will offer them both. Behold, a sample!" Someething dropped from the ceiling and landed at Percy's feet: a loaf of sandwich bread in a white plastic wrapper with red and yellow dots. Percy picked it up. "Wonder bread?" "Magnificent, isn't it?" Ephialtes eyes danced with crazy excitement. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humour #percy-jackson #wonder-bread #food

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. ↗

— David Bissonette

#love #love

Nothing great is ever accomplished by following standards. ↗

— Geoffroy Birtz

#humour #science #humor

And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before--and thus was the Empire forged. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#grammar #grammar-humor #humor #humour #science-fiction