#humour

I like bread, and I like butter - but I like bread with butter best. ↗

— Sarah Weiner

#butter #food #food-love #humour #food

Pamper a tomato, overfeed it, overwater it and you will get a Paris Hilton of a tomato. ↗

— Nigel Slater

#humour #food

Here you go, fellas. Piping hot...right out of the oven!' 'Is--Is that what I think it is?' 'It's your favourite! Custard pie with cheese and bacon!' 'QUICHE!' 'No, comrade!! Be strong! Monsters don't eat flakey bakery products! Get a hold of yourself!' 'But comrade, I'm STARVING! Our army has no food! We haven't eaten since the ghost circles appeared!' 'Oh well! We certainly have a lot of food Here, don't we, Teach? A Lot of Food...' 'Oh yes, A lot of food!' 'OK! I GIVE UP! YES! YES!! GIVE US THE QUICHE!! WE'RE STARVING-- ↗

— Jeff Smith

#quiche #stupid-stupid-rat-creatures #food

I think this goat must have been fed on old boots,' Stubble complained as he chewed the last scraps of flesh from the bones littering his stew. ↗

— Carl Sargent

#fantasy #food #humour #stubble #zagor

Take it!" he snarled, hurling the diamond necklace across the table at his opponent. "And may you rot in hell with it!" "I should not dream of intruding upon you there," replied Mr Brundy, bowing deeply from the waist. ↗

— Sheri Cobb South

#humour #dreams

There was a family joke that Lucy's first words were, "Nicholas is bugging me! ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#lucy #solange #family

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#humour #misanthropy #perspective #equality

Leo got up and brushed himself off. "I hate that guy". He offered Jason his arm like they should go skipping together."I`m Dylan. I`m so cool, I want to date myself, but I can`t figure out how! You want to date me instead? You`re so lucky!" "Leo" Jason said "You`re weird ↗

— Rick Riordan

#mythology #dating

I used to go to a Canadian school. When I left, I realised i really missed Canadia. ↗

— Stewart Francis

#humour #funny

Laziness always wins. ↗

— Tibor Fischer

#humour #truth #experience