#joke

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ↗

— Rita Rudner

#feeling #get #god #joke #men

If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you. ↗

— Wanda Sykes

#come #couple #cut #cutting #deep

Everybody I know is a joke writer. ↗

— Ron White

#i #joke #know #writer

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. ↗

— Robert Frost

#forgive #great #i #joke #jokes

We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that. ↗

— Jennifer Saunders

#amateur #bit #charm #first #involve

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much. ↗

— Don Adams

#been #child #child support #i #joke

The moment you think of a joke is the best moment. ↗

— Judd Apatow

#joke #moment #think #you

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes. ↗

— Dave Attell

#first #hard #joke #minutes #sometimes

If I can't face my accusers, that's a joke. We did that in medieval times. ↗

— Lance Armstrong

#face #i #joke #medieval #times

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes. ↗

— Dave Attell

#comics #i #joke #jokes #like