#joke

Oberon "one day Atticus was amazed to discover that when Jupiter said "As you wish," what he really meant was "I love you. ↗

— Kevin Hearne

#princess-bride-jokes #love

Breyona didn’t have to force a laugh. “Fellowship? Who do you think you are? Freedo the hobbit?” “It’s Frodo,” he said over his shoulder. “And if I was a character from L.O.T.R., I’d obviously by Strider.” Shaking his head, he continued down the trail, mumbling obscenities. “What is L.O.T.R.?” Shiv asked. “Who is this Freedo?” Both questions brought exasperated sighs from Bronson. “It stands for Lord of the Rings. Don’t you ever see any movies?” “Weren’t they books before they were movies?” Em asked. “They wrote them after,” Bronson said. Breyona winked at Danny. “That Freedo was hot,” she said loud enough for Bronson to hear. “Even with those dumb-ass furry feet, he’s my kind of cute.” Bronson threw his hands up. “Frodo. It’s Frodo. And he’s not hot! ↗

— Eric Edstrom

#lotr #teens #movies

For with dandies, a joke is the only way of making yourself respected. ↗

— Jules-Amédée Barbey d'Aurevilly

#humor #irony #joke #respect #respect

What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water! ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humour #jokes #humour

The joke of our time is the suicide of intention. ↗

— Theodor Adorno

#joke #our #our time #suicide #time

Housekeeping ain't no joke. ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#joke

Cooking allows you to have travels, adventures and journeys without going anywhere. The running joke between my partner and me is that I'm not really concerned about how long it takes, or how much I destroy the kitchen, because I just have such a good time doing it. ↗

— Ted Allen

#adventures #allows #anywhere #because #between

U.S. soldiers, with whom I now have more than a passing acquaintance, joke that they track my movements in order to know where they will be deployed next. ↗

— Christiane Amanpour

#deployed #i #joke #know #more

My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself. ↗

— Maya Angelou

#almost #been #big #choke #dance

When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer. ↗

— Joan Van Ark

#i #idiot #joke #least #longer