#joke

My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs. ↗

— Richard Marx

#does #joke #really #tour #tours

'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes. ↗

— James McAvoy

#american #american films #american movies #arse #favorite

Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant. ↗

— Rue McClanahan

#blatant #could #get #grown #jokes

Jokes are grievances. ↗

— Marshall McLuhan

#jokes

There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke. ↗

— Herman Melville

#call #certain #his #joke #life

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them. ↗

— Paul Merton

#being #being funny #creating #funny #i

Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars. ↗

— George Mikes

#better #even #jokes #least #longest

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. ↗

— Spike Milligan

#i #joke #laughing #many #me

Everyone recognizes that's a joke because obviously the number and shape of the pieces doesn't affect the size of the pizza. And similarly, the stocks, bonds, warrants, etc., issued don't affect the aggregate value of the firm. ↗

— Merton Miller

#aggregate #because #bonds #etc #everyone

The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #joke #vindictive #funny