#joke

First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that's a joke and everybody in the world knows it. ↗

— Norman Schwarzkopf

#even #everybody #first #first of all #i

I was saying as a joke the other day that I love film editing, I know how to cut a picture, I think I know how to shoot it, but I don't know how to light it. And I realize it's because I didn't grow up with light. I grew up in tenements. ↗

— Martin Scorsese

#cut #day #editing #film #grew

I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day. ↗

— Seann William Scott

#always #bachelor #because #check #clerks

The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life. ↗

— Seann William Scott

#because #funny #got #high #high school

I don't mind being the butt of the joke... It doesn't really bother me. I quite enjoy it. ↗

— Ryan Seacrest

#bother #enjoy #i #joke #me

All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us. ↗

— Yahoo Serious

#comedy #films #hold #i #jokes

I don't know about you, but every time some joker points me out as I walk through an airport wearing extra-small Dolfin shorts, a tank top and leg warmers, I get a little upset. ↗

— Richard Simmons

#airport #every #every time #get #i

If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be cracking jokes. It's like Beavis and Butthead. ↗

— Nikki Sixx

#cracking #forget #jokes #just #just be

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#cent #deserve #funny #funny stuff #jokes

The insular arrogance of the English character is a commonplace joke. ↗

— Goldwin Smith

#character #commonplace #english #insular #joke