#kin

I don't care what your nose says! The last time you smelled half-blood, it turned out to be a meatloaf sandwich!" "Meatloaf sandwiches are good! But this is a half-blood scent, I swear. They are on board!" "Bah, your brain isn't on board! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#telkine #humor

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer ↗

— Bill Hicks

#media-journalism #society #thinking #humor

It can be exhausting eating a meal cooked by a man. With a woman, it's, Ho hum, pass the beans. A guy, you have to act like he just built the Taj Mahal. ↗

— Deb Caletti

#cooking #gender-stereotypes #humor #humor

Crouched on the roof between BEx and Liz, I wasn't a girl who had just broken up with her boyfriend; I looked at my watch and check my gear instead of crying. I had a mission objective and not a broken heart. ↗

— Ally Carter

#breaking-up #romance #spies #teen-spies #love

When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#happiness #humor #sex #smoking #humor

Be nice. And if you can't do that, just don't be mean. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#love #nice #richelle #richelle-goodrich #self-control

The goal is to learn to be nurturing with yourself so you can feel free. ↗

— Deborah Day

#positive-thinking #self-esteem #self-love #love

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #conversation #drink #drinking #drunk

Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much. ↗

— Criss Jami

#challenge #clever #cognition #cognitive #cognitive-psychology

When I was still quite young I had a complete presentiment of life. It was like the nauseating smell of cooking escaping from a ventilator: you don't have to have eaten it to know that it would make you throw up. ↗

— Julian Barnes

#humor #life #youth #humor