#lemon

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword Kit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events) ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #lemony-snicket #series-of-unfortunate-events #tea #funny

Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #lemony-snicket #funny

Breakfast is my specialty. I admit it's the easiest meal to cook, but I make everything with a twist, like lemon ricotta pancakes or bacon that's baked instead of fried. ↗

— Hugh Jackman

#bacon #baked #breakfast #cook #easiest

If you don’t care about something, one way to demonstrate your feelings is to say the word and then repeat the word with the letters S-C-H-M replacing the first letters. Somebody who didn’t care about dentists, for instance could say ‘Dentist, schmentists. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#lemony-snicket #schm #humor

When life gives you lemons. . . You might as well shove 'em where the sun don't shine, because you sure as hell aren't ever going to see any lemonade. ↗

— Rob Thurman

#lemonade #lemons #nightlife #humor

A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded. ↗

— Daniel Handler

#ignorance #lemony-snicket #library #humor

I'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands." Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations." But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #humor #lemony #slippery-slope #snicket

When life gives you lemons, say cool, what else you got? ↗

— Carmen in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

#lemon #life #humor

Arthur shook his head and sat down. He looked up. “I thought you must be dead …” he said simply. “So did I for a while,” said Ford, “and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor #lemon #funny

Tanner: I think that I might kiss you to keep your lips busy with something other than insulting me. Ella: If you think you can do it without getting lost. ↗

— Melissa Lemon

#humorous #melissa-lemon #romantic #smartass #business