#me

But it's funny how the memory works and how sometimes we just belive whatever we want. ↗

He’s bound to have done something,” Nobby repeated. In this he was echoing the Patrician’s view of crime and punishment. If there was a crime, there should be punishment. If the specific criminal should be involved in the punishment process then this was a happy accident, but if not then any criminal would do, and since everyone was undoubtedly guilty of something, the net result was that, in general terms, justice was done. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#ethics #funny #justice #punishment #funny

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#funny #humor #humorous #funny

There was a group of fans who wanted autographs, and several women who managed to write their phone numbers on Wade's hand before he pulled free. Sam sent him an arched brow, but he just shrugged. He got numbers written on him a lot; he'd never figured out how to stop that from happening. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humour #romance #romantic-comedy #funny

My life is a code within a code, and I’ll crack both like two eggs and eat my existence like an omelet. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#existence #funny #omelet #funny

I’m the sexiest of them all! - Carol ↗

— Matthew Leeth

#funny #horror #matthew-leeth #me #she-was-different

Life is like Tetris; if it doesn't fit, just flip it over ↗

— Sabine Hein

#games #life #tetris #funny

The fewer moving parts, the better." "Exactly. No truer words were ever spoken in the context of engineering. ↗