#median

I've been doing comedies but I'm not a comedian. ↗

— Seann William Scott

#comedian #comedies #doing #i

Since 1994, unemployment rates are lower. Median household income is higher. A greater percentage of Americans are graduating from college. Home ownership rates are higher. And the violent crime rate has decreased. ↗

— Cliff Stearns

#crime #crime rate #decreased #graduating #greater

Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors. ↗

— Ben Stiller

#business #comedians #directors #grew #had

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians. ↗

— Wanda Sykes

#comedians #comedy #first #good #got

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson. ↗

— John Oliver

#hilarious #baseball

I hate stand-up comics; I think funny is something you are, not something you desperately try to be in front of a roomful of obnoxious people. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#funny

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#funny #humor #humorous #funny

Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that. ↗

— Aziz Ansari

#around #audiences #base #because #cheap

I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction. ↗

— Bobby Darin

#comedians #comics #distinction #great #i

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did. ↗

— Jimmy Durante

#developing #did #ever #more #politics