#ny

On a plane you can pick up more and better people than on any other public conveyance since the stagecoach. ↗

— Anita Loos

#better #more #other #people #pick

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#better #else #i #like #persons

Don't write anything you can phone. Don't phone anything you can talk. Don't talk anything you can whisper. Don't whisper anything you can smile. Don't smile anything you can nod. Don't nod anything you can wink. ↗

— Earl Long

#nod #phone #smile #talk #whisper

No headboards were broken. ↗

— John Green

#humor #twilight #funny

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. ↗

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

#anybody #anything #come #got #haven

Here's some advice. Stay alive," says Haymitch, and then bursts out laughing. I exchange a look with Peeta before I remember that I'm having nothing more to do with him. I'm surprised to see the hardness in his eyes. He generally seems so mild. 'That's very funny,' says Peeta. Suddenly, he lashes out at the glass in Haymitch's hand. It shatters on the floor, sending the bloodred liquid running toward the back of the train. 'Only not to us.' Haymitch considers this a moment, then punches Peeta in the jaw, knocking him from his chair. When he turns back to reach for the spirits, I drive my knife into the table between his hand and the bottle, barely missing his fingers. I brace myself to deflect his hit, but it doesn't come. Instead, he sits back and squints at us. 'Well, what's this?' says Haymitch. 'Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year? ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#haymitch #the-hunger-games #funny

It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together. ↗

— George Lopez

#about #anymore #backgrounds #because #black

On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#girlfriend #humor #ketchup #tomato #funny

People are always insinuating that I’m rude. They say things like “Shh,” and “Careful what you say,” and “I think that guy’s listening in on our conversation. ↗

— Bauvard

#rudeness #funny

The man may not be dead, but he was certainly stiff. And this had nothing to do with rigor mortis. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#funny