#ny

I snuck a look to see how Eric was taking this, and he was staring at me the same way the Monroe vampires had. Thoughtful. Hungry. "That's interesting," he said. "I had a psychic once. It was incredible." "Did the psychic think so? ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#sookie-eric #funny

Everything I’ve ever done, ever thought, ever experienced, and ever felt, has led me up to this moment in my life. And after accumulating and culminating it, all I can say is, “Ahhhhh! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #life #experience

I want to go to all the topless bars in America and try to sell every single one of them a roof. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #topless-bars #funny

I have a real problem keeping friends. I'm always running out of space in my freezer. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humour #funny

On a plane you can pick up more and better people than on any other public conveyance since the stagecoach. ↗

— Anita Loos

#better #more #other #people #pick

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#better #else #i #like #persons

Don't write anything you can phone. Don't phone anything you can talk. Don't talk anything you can whisper. Don't whisper anything you can smile. Don't smile anything you can nod. Don't nod anything you can wink. ↗

— Earl Long

#nod #phone #smile #talk #whisper

No headboards were broken. ↗

— John Green

#humor #twilight #funny

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. ↗

— Alice Roosevelt Longworth

#anybody #anything #come #got #haven