#ok

If I were you, I'd go and do that. : Vikalp That's why you're not me! : Yatharth. ↗

— Shubham Choudhary

#funny #my-ex-fell-in-love #funny

I squinted one of my eyes at Daniel. “What are you doing?” he asked. “This is me, giving you the side eye.” I continued to squint. “Well, you look like you’re having a stroke ↗

— Hodkin Michelle

#the-look #the-unbecoming-of-mara-dyer #funny

Hurray', shouted Glokta. 'Porridge again!'He looked over at the motionless Practical. 'Porridge and honey, better than money, everything's funny, with porridge and honey! ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#food #glokta #humor #unexpected-quote #food

Okay. Take a peek, but I swear if you try anything funny, I’ll beat your head in with my flashlight. ↗

— Shannon K. Butcher

#book- #funny

The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

Not to alarm you or anything, but I think you just made a deal with a Mexican gang." I've read Simone Elkeles books. I know how this whole garage as a front thing works. Fate Succumbs ↗

— Tammy Blackwell

#funny-quotes #funny

Instead of putting flowers in books to flatten them you can use a brick. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #flowers

It's not just the cheerleading thing I have a problem with, it's the whole jock enchilada. I'm all for a good game of basketball in teh driveway or a killer bike ride. But when there's tackling and grunting involved-- no thanks. ↗

— Linda Ellerbee

#jocks #kid-s-books #funny

What was that?” I croaked. Akhol sidestepped into my view and towered over us. “It was a Demon.” “But you said—” “I know what I said,” Akhol cut in sharply, rubbing his eyes. “There was something wrong with it. Like the Demon had adapted to the darkness and water.” I shivered. “Did he have a ring that he called ‘my precious’?” I joked to try and lighten the mood. I didn’t get a good look at the Demon, but my mind had no problems picturing Gollum. They stared at me blankly. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#joke #timeless-series #funny

They had to swing by Jared’s locker so he could grab his jacket. “A leather jacket,” Kami said as he shrugged into it. “Aren’t you trying a little too hard to play into certain bad boy clichés?” “Nah,” said Jared. “You’re thinking of black leather. Black leather’s for bad boys. It’s all in the color. You wouldn’t think I was a bad boy if I was wearing a pink leather jacket.” “That’s true,” Kami said. “What I would think of you, I do not know. So what does brown leather mean, then?” “I’m going for manly,” Jared said. “Maybe a little rugged.” “It’s bits of dead cow; don’t ask it to perform miracles. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#funny