#ran

I’d seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, but not many. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#haunted-shoe #humor #paranormal-romance #random #richelle-mead

You should have seen the costumes for the last few prom themes: Pimps and their srteet ho's; CEOs and their office ho's; GI Joes and their combat ho's; Gardeners and their garden hose;Firemen and their fire hose... If you ask me, a 'masquerade' theme isn't flattering for anyones features, nor does it define the apppropriate gender roles very clearly. ↗

— The Harvard Lampoon

#funny #ho-s #nightlight #random #funny

Val had a horrific image of Lisa peering through a magnifying glass like a grotesquely teenybopper version of Nancy Drew — in jeggings. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#funny-and-random #humor #funny

When Johnny Depp saw it, he was so excited he fluffed up to twice his normal size. ↗

— Diane Messidoro

#funny #humour #random #funny

He who destroys a good book, kills reason itself. ↗

— John Milton

#honesty #john-milton #random #reason #truth

He treats the person as if they were fully whole. We become what others expect us to be. Dad expected me to get better and even assumed I would have something helpful to say. Funny how we rise and fall to the assumptions of others. ↗

— Nathan Foster

#dad #healing #transformation #wholeness #funny

Strangers are only offensive when they offer courteous greetings. It abolishes the impartial judgment needed for a just society. ↗

— Bauvard

#familiarity #funny #humor #justice #strangers

When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cats #curls #dance #dancing

Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK? ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#science #violence #funny

A brick could be used for pressing grapes into wine, and a magician could then cover up that wine with a blanket and turn wine into water.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny