#rand

When someone says so-and-so’s opinionated, what’s that mean? Aren’t we all opinionated? Show me one person with no opinions, and I’ll show you a bowl of Jell-O—or a politician, whichever one’s dumber.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #politicians #politics #random

Every sex noise can be converted into a note and frozen in a can of soda. Ask me about menstruation music today! 
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— Jarod Kintz

#convert #drink #frozen #funny #humor

My shadow falling over a spot of land always increases its real estate value. Buy it now, because at high noon, all value will vanish.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #noon #random #random-thought

Run,” he whispered. “Run.” “No, Rand,” I said, brushing the dirt from his face. “I’m tired of running.” “Forgive me, please.” He clutched my hand as his eyes beseeched me through tears of pain. “You’re forgiven.” He sighed once, then stopped breathing. The shine in his brown eyes dulled. I pulled his hood over his head. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#yelena #forgiveness

A blanket could be used to say I’m sorry without using words, gestures, body language, facial expressions, or telepathy. I’ve always thought it was better to show than tell anyway, so I hope you can forgive me.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Western man has tried for too many centuries to fool himself that he lives in a rational world. No. There's a story about a man who, while walking along the street, was almost hit on the head and killed by an enormous falling beam. This was his moment of realization that he did not live in a rational world but a world in which men's lives can be cut off by a random blow on the head, and the discovery shook him so deeply that he was impelled to leave his wife and children, who were the major part of his old, rational world. My own response to the wild unpredictability of the universe has been to write stories, to play the piano, to read, listen to music, look at paintings - not that the world may become explainable and reasonable but that I may rejoice in the freedom which unaccountability gives us. ↗

— Madeleine L'Engle

#randomness #freedom

When an individual is taken into custody or otherwise deprived of his freedom by the authorities and is subjected to questioning . . . he must be warned prior to any questioning that he has the right to remain silent, that anything he says can be used against him in a court of law, that he has the right to the presence of an attorney, and that if he cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed for him prior to any questioning if he so desires. ↗

— Earl Warren

#freedom

LIberty is slavery. Or, well, you already know. P.S. Can you find my logo in the image? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#freedom #george-orwell #illustrator #jarod-kintz #liberty

The sky is full of dreams, but you don't know how to fly. ↗

— The Killers

#band #beautiful #brandon-flowers #day-and-age #dreams

It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap opera. And to save Fablehaven, I would read a book, okay, are you happy?" You had best be careful, Seth," Grandma warned. "The love of reading can be contagious." I just lost my appetite," he declared... ↗

— Brandon Mull

#fablehaven #funny #mull #reading #seth