#sarcasm

He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot. "Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#cassandra-clare #city-of-lost-souls #clary-fray #humor #jace-lightwood

Double Sword Tavern.” Tristan said, reading out loud. “Sounds charming and inviting. ↗

— B.C. Morin

#funny #sarcasm-humor #funny

Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill comeback. Isn't that what you're supposed to do in situations like this? Too harsh? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them? ↗

— Madeleine L'Engle

#sarcasm #humor

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #fat #humor #jace #mortal-instruments

You his brother?' 'Yes, damn it!' I burst out. "And all I want is to get my hands on whoever did this to him!' 'Funny,' said a dick dryly, 'but so do we.' I didn't like him much after that. Sarcasm is out of place when a man has just been brought face to face with personal tragedy. ("Walls That Hear You") ↗

— Cornell Woolrich

#tragedy #funny

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #sarcasm #humor

I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?" "Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple." "But...you did something nice. Why?" He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #madness #nice #percy-jackson #sarcasm

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. ↗

— Irina Dunn

#non-sequitur #sarcasm #women #humor

The earl shook his head, exhibiting a degree of frosty offense that could only be achieved by an aristocrat whose wishes had just been gainsaid. “I’ve never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he’s just ruined,” he said sourly. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#sarcasm #humor