#sarcasm

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #sarcasm #humor

I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?" "Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple." "But...you did something nice. Why?" He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #madness #nice #percy-jackson #sarcasm

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. ↗

— Irina Dunn

#non-sequitur #sarcasm #women #humor

It’s sarcasm, Josh.” “Sarcasm?” “It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.” “Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.” “There you go, you got it.” “Got what?” “Sarcasm.” “No, I meant it.” “Sure you did.” “Is that sarcasm?” “Irony, I think.” “What’s the difference?” “I haven’t the slightest idea.” “So you’re being ironic now, right?” “No, I really don’t know.” “Maybe you should ask the idiot.” “Now you’ve got it.” “What?” “Sarcasm. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#irony #sarcasm #humor

Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them? ↗

— Madeleine L'Engle

#sarcasm #humor

Enormous? Did you just call me FAT? I am not fat. - Jace ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #fat #humor #jace #mortal-instruments

You his brother?' 'Yes, damn it!' I burst out. "And all I want is to get my hands on whoever did this to him!' 'Funny,' said a dick dryly, 'but so do we.' I didn't like him much after that. Sarcasm is out of place when a man has just been brought face to face with personal tragedy. ("Walls That Hear You") ↗

— Cornell Woolrich

#tragedy #funny

I got an 'A' in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world... ↗

— Whitney Gracia Williams

#sarcasm #business

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It's really funny. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#sarcasm #funny

Your quick ‘no’ is because I refused to say ‘yes’ to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your— ↗

— Avery Aster

#erotica-romance #sarcasm-humor #men