#sat

You’re not the only one in this relationship who loves a challenge,” he says. “And just so you know for the future, I like my double-chocolate chip cookies warm and soft in the middle . . . and without magnets glued to them. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#conversation #funny #humor #kiara-westford #funny

মিথ্যা হলো শয়তানের বিয়ের মন্ত্র। মিথ্যা বললেই শয়তানের বিয়ে হয়। বিয়ে হওয়া মানেই সন্তান-সন্ততি হওয়া। একটা মিথ্যার পর আরো অনেকগুলি মিথ্যা বলতে হয় এই কারণেই।পরের মিথ্যাগুলি শয়তানের সন্তান। ↗

— Humayun Ahmed

#lie #satan #funny

And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first! ↗

— Susan Kay

#funny #humor #ironic #irony #satire

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat? ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-humor #funny-satire #humor #humorist #humorous

The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be overheard. It just isn't good table manners to exclude someone from their own ridicule. That's why the juiciest side conversations occur at a table for one. ↗

— Bauvard

#dinner #funny #gossip #humor #table-manners

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#humor

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#satire #humor

IF you wish to be a writer then don't wait until you write the "great American novel" for they aren't written they are created. If you don't write at all you won't know how "great" that simple book can be. ↗

— Shiree McCarver

#historical-romance #humor #interracial-romance #satyrs #shiree-mccarver

One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor #sarcastic-humor #satire #humor

Since my trips to Earth, I've only managed to assemble a few basics facts about humans, condensing them in to four, overall points: kids got Reese's, teens got recess, adults got recessions, and seniors got receding. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek-mythology #humor #mount-olympus #satire #valentines-day