#shit

They say it came from Africa, carried in the screams of the enslaved; that it was the death bane of the Tainos, uttered just as one world perished and another began; that it was a demon drawn into Creation through the nightmare door that was cracked open in the Antilles. Fukú americanus, or more colloquially, fukú - generally a curse or doom of some kind; specifically the Curse and the Doom of the New World. No matter what its name or provenance, it is believed that the arrival of Europeans on Hispaniola unleashed fukú on the world, and we've all been in the shit ever since. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#antilles #curse #demon #enslaved #fukú

I think it would be funny if some guy walked into a house and said he just stepped in shit. Then he’d ask other people to look at the bottom of his shoes as he lifted each leg and foot so they could see. When all the people said no, they didn't see any shit, he would then take off his shoes and there would be shit all over his socks. Then the guy would say, "Oh, God, my roommate shit in my boot again. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#roommate #stepped-in-shit #funny

This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit." -Ty Henderson ↗

— Madeleine Urban

#humorous-quotations #shit #squirrel #funny

Money talks, bullshit walks. ↗

— Stephen King

#money #stephen-king #money

I said never mix business with pleasure. They said it was a pleasure doing business with me. ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#humourous #puns #satire-write #business

Shit on your whole mortifying, imaginary, and symbolic theater! ↗

— Gilles Deleuze

#psychoanalysis #shit #capitalism

And they got blackout drunk one night and it just happened. It was basically an accident, and he gave me the most sincere and moving confession of all time, swore to God he loved me so much and would do anything to convince me, blah blah blah, but it didn’t matter, I kept thinking about it and running it through my head and just burning with it. I cried every night for weeks. Practically wore the binary off all my saddest Mp3s. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#love

We call love what binds us to certain creatures only by reference to a collective way of seeing for which books and legends are responsible. ↗

— Albert Camus

#existentialism #probably-bullshit #love

Popatrz jeno. Kościół, karczma, bordel, a w środku między nimi kupa gówna. Oto parabola ludzkiego żywota. ↗

— Andrzej Sapkowski

#medieval #polish #shit #funny

My bullshit meter is reading that as 'false'. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#truth #dead