#sleeping

I had a dream about you. You took control of my body and forced me to have sex with you. Then you called the cops, and the police said I raped you—but I was the one who was raped. If I had known you were that kind of person, I’d have never voted you into political office in the first place.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were in the distant future. We were in love. We were so old and decrepit and one by one our body parts had been replaced by mannequin parts. But I still loved you, even though you looked like you belonged in a department store. 
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I was hired as a sous-chef at a restaurant on the Upper East Side. The chef liked to drink - some mornings we would find him sleeping. Two weeks after its opening, I became the chef. I was 20 years old, and way over my head. I had to hire the cooks and do the menus. ↗

— Bobby Flay

#became #chef #cooks #drink #east

Old myths, old gods, old heroes have never died. They are only sleeping at the bottom of our mind, waiting for our call. We have need for them. They represent the wisdom of our race. ↗

— Stanley Kunitz

#call #died #gods #heroes #mind

We get on well and it won't be too much trouble spending so much time with him. He has a strange way of sleeping as he likes to kick off all the blankets and just have them up by his chest. ↗

— Robbie Keane

#chest #get #him #his #just

I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it. ↗

— Laura Kightlinger

#detest #goal #i #indecent #like

Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt. ↗

— Pierre Trudeau

#beast #call #elephant #every #friendly

I started off when I was seven years old doing musicals. I was in 'Les Miserables' and 'The Sound of Music,' and my mum's an actress. My parents divorced when I was young, and when she couldn't find a babysitter, I was in the wings, sleeping. ↗

— Alicia Vikander

#babysitter #divorced #doing #find #i

All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day. ↗

— Evelyn Waugh

#any #day #dentist #fuss #go

Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?" the Colonel asked loudly from his sleeping bag. "Those of us who are not making out are drunk and tired. ↗

— John Green

#funny #humor #kisses #kissing #laura