#y

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#children #enough #i #know #parents

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#busy #except #local #two #usually

We men are fascinated by the things we don't really understand. It gives us something to think and talk about: like females, they drive us nuts. ↗

— Criss Jami

#attraction #conversation #curiosity #fascination #females

I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, 'I gotta go to Broadway.' ↗

— Rita Rudner

#beach #broadway #companies #did #finally

I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#body #disappeared #every #every time #gotten

I'm a very simple person. I'm very shallow. Shallow, simple, easily pleased: that's me. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#i #me #person #pleased #shallow

If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#feel #feel good #good #i #joke

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#barbie #because #grow #grow up #identifying

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#boyfriend #broke #get #get married #him

My mother's mother is a very tough cookie. She buried three husbands. Two of them were just napping. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#cookie #husbands #just #mother #napping