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One last push before I die. I’m tired. So I’m making one last try. Pushing my broken body far beyond its limits. Try fix all I can for my ex. Then if I’m still unwanted by everyone I think it’ll be time for me to leave.
I just have never been a serious relationship and have always wanted to I really want someone to genuinely love me so I have romantic scenes playing in my head like all the time
I just have never been a serious relationship and have always wanted to I really want someone to genuinely love me so I have romantic scenes playing in my head like all the time
I used to try to save lives in different ways. I did save some. But the ones I lost haunt me. Oh I know I did my best. I’ve had people crying & thanking me. I know I made a difference in the world.
But I failed the 4 people I love with all I am. I couldn’t help it. I have a disease. I fought the disease. But it beat me. Oh I know now all the things I did wrong. But I couldn’t see it then.
It’s so funny. Some children think I’m the greatest man in the world that’s not their dad. But I have to struggle to be that. I’m so sick. It’s hard willing myself to endure the pain everyday. I keep saying my loved ones need me.
I hate myself. I hate everything about me. I can see no good in me. But I know others need me. That will just have to be enough.
Good & evil. I’ve always been a light in the world. My sister evil. As a kid I saved her life. I watch her do evil her entire life. Including against me.
Late in life I thought maybe she’s changed. But I inverted her closely. No. She’s still pure evil. She’s just an expert at hiding it now.
It goes against my nature to harm others or wish ill upon them. If my saving her life just meant all the harm she caused me I’d accept it as bearing a cross for my faith. But she has caused great harm to many.
The thing is; she’s normal. No disabilities. Attractive. Athletic. Smart. Popular. Very normal. Ease getting jobs. Everything comes easy for her. Everyone likes her. Everything goes her way. Both of our parents protected her & spoiled her rotten. She was given things of great value. A free home. Her college paid for. Free cars. Free land.
She grew up wearing the best clothes & going everywhere. She was their princess.
She even went to Church. Had the Bible taught to her. Oh she can quote scripture. Excellent grades. Beauty pageants. Won sports. All the boys asked her out. All the popular girls liked her. The teachers loved her. She was in all the clubs. In the plays. Band. I even saw her in the paper a few times. To this day people bend over backwards to kiss her butt.
Yet when i study her closely, she is still doing evil. I don’t think evil people can change themselves. I don’t think they want to change. I think they enjoy harming as many innocents as they can. They emotionally feed off the pain they cause.
As bad as it sounds, I probably should have walked away when she was dying. Instead I saved her.
This is a messed up world. I know a very sweet young disabled man who has been tormented by mean people so much he won’t even leave his house. He doesn’t realize if he doesn’t one day he will be homeless when his parents are gone. Both are very sick. He looked promising, then a nasty person messed up his parents happy marriage.
I know a very sweet woman who is a light in this world. She is dying. Her world falling apart. So sad.
Yet I also know my sorry sister. Healthy as a horse. No matter what happens in the world it all comes up roses for her. Maybe evil people do have a deal with the devil. I think it’s more that evil people look out for each other, & gang up on good people.
I think it’s as simple as good people are just outnumbered by the really bad people. And everyone else just ignores it.
Think about that the next time you watch a video where a group of nasty people are attacking one innocent, & everyone else just passes by. I guess they are just glad it’s not them.
Is that all humans are? A few kind people sorted out of the herd; slowly or quickly destroyed by evil people. Everyone else just strolling by, glad it’s. Or them.
Yeah. I know a secret about my evil sister. I saw her reading some books. She acted like they are women’s books. Instead; they are about a good person fighting an evil person and his underlines.
See I’ve read the books too. I’m loved by God. I’m a source of good in this world. But she secretly is the evil these books are written about. She walks in this world acting so nice. But she’s really doing evil. Trying to get others to do evil.
She enjoys all the pain she causes. She either uses you, or works against you. She can’t help it, her soul is dark & evil. Why did I save her?
Weird thing. She has one kid who is very kind. One that’s nasty, but not evil.
This world God made is so F’d up.
I’ve saved several lives. I tried to track one down once. I wanted to believe my heroics had made the world a better place. I found a guy who cheated on his wife; stole from his disabled relative, but was a pretty good dad to his surprisingly good kids. I call that a win.
Oh. I peed on my sisters hair brush. Dried it on her hand towel. I did it cause I saw her lying on a disabled person, then try to make people mad at the person. It felt good to pee on her hairbrush. Meaningless. But she caused a kind disabled person grief. She loves her hair. It is nice hair. So I think it’s funny. One of the meanest things I’ve ever done.
You know why I did it? In school I watched her poor pee in a disabled kids drink. Her & her popular friends watched the younger kid drink it. I later saw her & her friends kiss some football players if they’d harass that boy. They beat him up while everyone laughed. She was so proud of herself. I may go pee on her hair brush again since life has temporarily put her back in my life.
I wonder where she keeps her toothbrush. I don’t know. Is that too much? We used to have a handicapped neighbor. She paid a boy to beat the kid up. She would stick his tooth brush in the toilet. She deserves it. But I’m too nice for that. I think that’s why they win. They pick easy targets no one cares about. We good people will only go so far because we don’t want to be like them.
I have to confess that I'm a very arrogant person and that I love to make fun of others.
It gets me going to make fun of the weak, I feel strong and confident when I do it. I think I'm better than 90 % of my fellow men, I even say that to some of them. I guess it's not that bad because I am able to be the way I am. I am good-looking, handsome and just amazing!
I am 16 with several boyfriends of the past, but intercourse only once. I am fixated on a man with lots of experience, but not sure how old to go. I am thinking to double my age and have him be 32, but what if he's a dud? So far they are all frauds and don't know how to please.
#horny #experienced #masturbate #sex #older #duds #boys
i have a loving gf that i absolutely love of 1 year.. i try not to cheat on her. but i’m not satisfied… i just get bored and go looking, you know? is that wrong? we have a life together already. but i like the rush too. im wayyy more freakier than her too. and into more stuff… she likes the basic sex and stuff, lays on her back and i do all the work. i wanna slut someone out. i have good dick and i wanna use it…
I have been doing penance hard. I had a dream not so long ago that I moved to a older style nice home and I was in the bedroom and it reminded me of childhood and I had all my clothes and I said to my mother, "its like childhood but things will be alright now"! I was happy. How could this happen. I need the money to come.
im female and i look really hot; i really get compliments all the time. i work as one of the only woman in the technology section. i like my career choice very much and each day i can bedazzle my male colleagues although im working in this company for 5 years now. its the same everywhere else
with my look i always win hearts and minds
thats just great!!
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