#absurd

It's come to the point where you have people saying it's our Christian duty to embrace the homosexual movement. This is absurd. ↗

— Randall Terry

#christian #come #duty #embrace #homosexual

Most of the basic truths of life sound absurd at first hearing. ↗

— Elizabeth Goudge

#basic #first #hearing #life #most

I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please pass the ketchup? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#albino #funny #humor #love #surrealism

I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #sunrise #age

I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right. ↗

— George Carlin

#anger

When all else fails, there's always delusion. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#life #life

I've decided to donate my arsenal of machine guns to a hunting charity. That should help raze a million bucks. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#guns #hunting #change

Looking at the room, I can tell that you are the most beautiful girl in the room. (In the whole wide room) And when you're on the street (Depending on the street) I bet you are definitely in the top three ↗

— Flight of the Conchords

#beauty

I’ll be waiting in my trunk, with the engine of your car. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#car #waiting #life

The first thing she told me after I hit on her was that she had a boyfriend of nine months, and I thought, what kind of sick bitch dates infants? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #dating