#absurd

The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five. ↗

— Carl Sagan

#humor #reason #sagan #war #humor

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor

I can't go on, I'll go on. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#drama #existentialism #fiction #humor #nihilism

To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #funny #humor #love #age

Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#funny #humor #love #age

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#car #disabled #funny #handicapped #humor

Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess ↗

— Christopher Moore

#chrisptopher-moore #humor #business

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#funny #humor #humorous #humour #life

Raining. Oh, brother, a scratch on the fender. Damn rabbi on his unicycle. Wait a minute, where are my car keys? Could have sworn I left them in this pocket. No, just some loose change and ticket stubs from the all-black version of Elaine Stritch’ s one-woman show. Did I check my desk? Better go back inside. What’s in the top drawer here? Hmm. Envelopes, my paper clips, a loaded revolver in case the tenant in 2A begins yodelling again. ↗

— Woody Allen

#change

We call love what binds us to certain creatures only by reference to a collective way of seeing for which books and legends are responsible. ↗

— Albert Camus

#existentialism #probably-bullshit #love