#absurd

Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#funny #humor #love #age

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#car #disabled #funny #handicapped #humor

Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess ↗

— Christopher Moore

#chrisptopher-moore #humor #business

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#funny #humor #humorous #humour #life

The other day I tried to design a finish line, but I didn’t know where to start. So I just sat there and drank Gatorade. Ah, but that’s life, no?
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— Jarod Kintz

#design #finish #gatorade #life #sat

Ireland is probably named the “Emerald Isle” because there are lots of precious stones found there, such as sapphires and rubies.
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— Jarod Kintz

#ireland #change

All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. Great works are often born on a street-corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door. So it is with absurdity. The absurd world more than others derives its nobility from that abject birth. In certain situations, replying “nothing” when asked what one is thinking about may be pretense in a man. Those who are loved are well aware of this. But if that reply is sincere, if it symbolizes that odd state of soul in which the void becomes eloquent, in which the chain of daily gestures is broken, in which the heart vainly seeks the link that will connect it again, then it is as it were the first sign of absurdity. ↗

— Albert Camus

#the-myth-of-sisyphus #love

Women, however, actually utilize their brains when dealing with men. I know, it’s absurd. When a woman looks at a man she sees who he is, who he was, and who he could be. When a man sees a woman, he doesn’t see who she is, he sees what she is: a talking pair of tits. (Men don’t like talking asses). ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brain #men #women #men

If instead of saucers, UFOs looked more like breasts, I’ll bet there’d be a lot more people trying to take pictures of them. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#breasts #ufo #change

But we live in a modern world, you know, and, and also it does seem to me that if you - that whatever talents you have, it... I mean it may sound a bit absurd but I, I think it's your, absolutely your duty to resolve them, you know? ↗

— Tim Curry

#absurd #also #bit #does #duty