#comedy

What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows. ↗

— John Green

#comedy #funny #funny

Well I beat things around with my stick once in awhile. ↗

— Kira

#humor #humor

بعضهم يقول إن الحياة قصيرة، وأنك قد تموت في حادث سيارة في أي لحظة، فعليك أن تعيش كل يوم كأنه آخر أيامك. هذا هراء. الحيـاة طويلة. ومن المحتمل جداً أنك لا تموت في حادث سيارة، وعندها عليك أن تعيش مع نتائج خياراتك لمدة خمسين عاماً ↗

— Chris Rock

#humor #humor

Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#comedy #english #humor #jello #jelly

Roxy, stop being so obnoxious!" -Joy "I'm never obnoxious; I'm just concerned." -Roxy ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#concern #friendship #view-point #friendship

The life of every individual is really always a tragedy, but gone through in detail, it has the character of a comedy. ↗

— Arthur Schopenhauer

#life #tragedy #life

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? ↗

— Chris Rock

#comedy #race #racism #society #love

If you don't want to tear off the clothes of the person you're on a date with and jump into bed with them, then what's the point? I'd never date; instead, I'd have lots of good friends and hug them a lot and life would be easier and neater and uncomplicated. ↗

— Rachel Machacek

#dating #humor #love #romance #dating

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor. ↗

— Sholom Aleichem

#comedy #dream #fool #game #life is a

What's happened is somewhere, along the line, as a society, we confused the notion of 'home' with the possibility of 'an investment opportunity'. What kind of creature wants to live in an 'investment opportunity'? Only man. The fox has his den. The bee has his hive. The stoat, has, uh... his stoat-hole... but only man chooses to make his nest in an investment opportunity. Mmm, snuggled down in the lovely credit! All warm, in the mortgage payment, mmmmm... ↗

— Stewart Lee

#gfc #humour #love