#drinking

When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#die #drinking #going #i #only

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#arrested #battery #charged #drinking #eating

You can never rouse Harris. There is no poetry about Harris- no wild yearning for the unattainable. Harris never "weeps, he knows not why." If Harris's eyes fill with tears, you can bet it is because Harris has been eating raw onions, or has put too much Worcester over his chop. If you were to stand at night by the sea-shore with Harris, and say: "Hark! do you not hear? Is it but the mermaids singing deep below the waving waters; or sad spirits, chanting dirges for white corpses held by seaweed?" Harris would take you by the arm, and say: "I know what it is, old man; you've got a chill. Now you come along with me. I know a place round the corner here, where you can get a drop of the finest Scotch whisky you ever tasted- put you right in less than no time." Harris always does know a place round the corner where you can get something brilliant in the drinking line. I believe that if you met Harris up in Paradise (supposing such a thing likely), he would immediately greet you with: "So glad you've come, old fellow; I've found a nice place round the corner here, where you can get some really first-class nectar. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#poetry #men

If you see the dragon fly, best you drink the flagon dry.” —Zarost ↗

— Greg Hamerton

#drinking #fantasy-books #fantasy-fiction #life-lessons #life

Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#humor #philosophy #humor

But in the daytime it was all right. And when you'd had a drink you knew it was the best way to live in the world because anything might happen. I don't know how people live when they know exactly what's going to happen to them each day. ↗

— Jean Rhys

#life #life

Need 'nether whiskey. Whiskey chaser. Gotta get two men drunk.' Mr. Cohan placed both hands on the bar. 'Mr. Walsh,' he said severely, 'in Gavagan's we will serve a man a drink to wet his whistle, or even because his old woman has pasted him with a dornick, but a drink to get drunk with I do not sell. Now I'm telling you you've had enough for tonight, and in the morning you'll be thanking me...' ("My Brother's Keeper") ↗

— Fletcher Pratt

#bar #drinking #drunk #tavern #men

Alcohol ruined me financially and morally, broke my heart and the hearts of too many others. Even though it did this to me and it almost killed me and I haven't touched a drop of it in seventeen years, sometimes I wonder if I could get away with drinking some now. I totally subscribe to the notion that alcoholism is a mental illness because thinking like that is clearly insane. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#alcoholism #drinking #heartbreak #insane #mental-illness

At the time I started in ballet they were dancing 'The Spirit of Champagne' on pointe, in Paris. I thought, 'I don't want to dance the spirit of champagne, I want to drink it! ↗

— Martha Graham

#paris

They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#drinking