#drunk

What?" he asked. "You're staring at me funny." "We're in the wrong movie," I confessed. ↗

— Lou Harper

#funny

Friendship isn't partying with a group of people to get drunk or chatting with him/her once a week, it's exactly the opposite. Friends make sure you get home safely and they help you when you need it, no matter the scenario. They don't care about what clothes you wear or what you look like, and they don't last for a day. Real friends are more interested in what direction your life is headed rather than your popularity. They care about what you have to say and how you feel, and once you meet this person you'll know it without having to think twice. ↗

— Morgan Tang

#friends #friendship #home #love #opposites

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #conversation #drink #drinking #drunk

Young men are apt to think themselves wise enough, as drunken men are apt to think themselves sober enough. ↗

— Lord Chesterfield

#drunken #enough #men #sober #themselves

Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of day is jeweled balm for the battered spirit. A few of those days and you can become drunk with the belief that all's right with the world. ↗

— Ada Louise Huxtable

#battered #become #belief #clothes #day

It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up. ↗

— Jimmy Kimmel

#drunken #every #funny #guy #high

Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination. ↗

— Vin Scully

#illumination #like #much #statistics #support

Things got so bad that when I went shopping for a house, some people would refuse to open the door if they saw it was me standing there. And drunks would always want to challenge me. ↗

— Edward G. Robinson

#bad #challenge #door #drunks #got

I came in several times and spoke, but perhaps you were asleep when I thought you were awake.' 'You are very considerate to explain it this way,' Sugreeva said, 'but I was drunk ↗

— R.K. Narayan

#funny #ramayana #funny

WHY did she do this? She was a terrible drunk texter. All the things she wanted to say to people during the day came out at night, like a vampire. ↗

— Harriet Evans

#drunken-behaviour #funny #texting #funny