#funny

The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30. ↗

— Lorne Michaels

#humor #management #snl #tina-fey #funny

He was the firstborn Bridgerton of a firstborn Bridgerton of a firstborn Bridgerton eight times over. He had a dynastic responsibility to be fruitful and multiply. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#funny

If my last name were Bedient, I’d want to Irishize it and have you call me O’Bedient. Of course, just because you call me, doesn’t mean I’ll come. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #irish #obedience #funny

Getting money from my dad is a finesse job. Luckily, I have finesse coming out of my arse. I barged into his study without knocking, marched across to his desk, and held out my hand. “Give me twenty pounds,” I snapped. “I need twenty pounds. Give it to me. Now! ↗

— Sarra Manning

#funny

Called her a whore and attacked her walls, tearing down her posters and throwing her books everywhere. I found out because some whitegirl ran up and said, Excuse me, but your stupid roommate is going insane, and I had to bolt upstairs and put him in a headlock. ↗

— Junot Díaz

#insane #outburst #whitegirl #funny

Funny how his two special abilities—taking and giving life—were so opposite, but only the “good” one came with pain. He supposed it made sense; life fucking hurt. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#funny

I think all toys should be invisible. Not only would they improve children’s imaginations, but they’d also be really affordable. In fact, every toy would be free. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #invisible #toys #funny

Noah held my hand and my bag as he escorted me to the third floor - the Women's Pavilion. The elevator bell rang and the doors opened. "Jesus, Echo, circulation in my hand would be a good thing," said Noah. "Sorry." I tried to let go, but Noah kept his fingers linked with mine. ↗

— Katie McGarry

#echo-emerson #funny #katie-mcgarry #love #noah-and-echo

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money? ↗

— Ogden Nash

#buying #certainly #did #ever #funny

Funny is funny is funny. ↗

— Bob Newhart