#funny

Love is the hero of all emotions. My love for you is a superhero, and it looks great hidden behind a mask. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hero #humor #love #age

I believe there are three tenants to live by in this apartment called Life: Love is empowering, Fear is motivating, and Passion is fruit. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #passion #age

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.”
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#food #funny #honesty #humor #love

I would rather make love than war, but only because condoms kill millions of lives more enjoyably. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #kill #love #war #age

I love mankind. And by mankind I mean women. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #mankind #age

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #age

If love were a color, it’d be transparent, like all women’s clothing should be. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

Surviving cancer is cool, but surviving old age is cooler.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#awesome #bizarre #cancer #funny #humor

Toothpaste pie is no substitute for swishing around minty-fresh love in your mouth and then rinsing out with cold, refreshing reality. But don’t take my word for it, because I’m not a dentist. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

In the throes of passion, I threw out an I love you. Did I mean it? Does a dictionary mean what it says? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age