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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




Where did you meet?” he pressed on. I shrugged and considered a little rephrasing. “I was out for a run.” “From who?” I leaned back to take a long, very long, slow sip of that beer. Knox leaned forward. “I think we’re both bullsh*tting here, you ever play that card game?” “With my grandma, every Sunday after church. ↗


— Dannika Dark


#cards #church #fantasy #funny #grandma

And isn't it funny how if one person speaks for real, then the other person can too? We just did that. We just became friends. It's just a matter of finding the right person and crossing that barrier together, almost like you're holding hands, but really you're holding the most tender place inside you. ↗


— Laura Pritchett


#laura-pritchett #love #funny

Bitterblue had never seen a man naked, and she was curious. She decided the universe owed her a few minutes, just a few, to satisfy her curiosity. So went to him and knelt, which shut him up. ↗


— Kristin Cashore


#funny #humor #relationships #ya #funny

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. ↗


— Natalie Wood


#baby #changing #man #only #only time

I make art for one person and one person only. And as soon as I find that one person, I sure hope he has a lot of wall space, because he’ll be getting a lot of art from me. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #art

Sometimes a symbol holds more power than the thing it represents. Like the symbol for Thing, the one I created that is confusing and abstract and makes people ask, What is that thing? And I always reply, “If you already knew, why did you ask? ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #power #symbols #funny

You can tell a lot about a person's character by how they do life's menial tasks. For example, I saw my neighbor washing dishes, and I could immediately tell that he was an adulterer by the way my wife's naked body glistened through his kitchen window. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#character #funny #humor #wife #funny

You don't scare me, Cadence Jones. I've lived with crazy, I've ridden with crazy, I've vacationed with crazy, I've visited crazy in various hospitals, I've sat in on therapy sessions with crazy. Frankly, I think women who don't have major emotional disorders are really very dull. ↗


— MaryJanice Davidson


#funny #humor #humour #funny

Minutes passed by. A little blue butterfly landed on my nose. I blinked at it and it fluttered to my ear. A big yellow butterfly gently floated over and landed on my paw. Soon a whole swarm of them floated up and down around me, like a swirl of multicolored petals. It happened in my backyard, too, if the magic was strong enough. Butterflies were small and light, and very magic sensitive. For some reason I made them feel safe and they gravitated to me like iron shavings to a magnet. They ruined my ferocious badass image, but you’d have to be a complete beast to swat butterflies. If a baby deer frolicked out from between the buildings trying to cuddle up, I would roar. I wouldn’t bite it, but I would roar. I had my limits. ↗


— Ilona Andrews


#dali #funny #shapeshifter #white-tiger #funny

I never got to call myself a door-to-door salesman, because, regrettably, I only ever went to one door. But one day I just might knock on another door, to be able to proudly say that I was once a door-to-door salesman. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #humor #pride #salesman #funny






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