#funny

I have never said this to anyone before.” Leo’s voice was like ragged velvet. “But the idea of you with child is the most insanely arousing thing I’ve ever imagined. Your belly all swollen, your breasts heavy, the funny little way you would walk … I would worship you. I would take care of your every need. And everyone would know that I’d made you that way, that you belonged to me. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#dreamy-sighs #possessiveness #funny

If you want to know my story, you have to go back to the beginning. Not the beginning-beginning, but about nine months later. You see, I was born as a poor farm boy. Believe it or not, my parents were so poor that they didn’t even own a farm. Nope. Instead, they had to live in a small apartment in the city. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#born #city #farm #funny #pregnant

At fifty times the distance, you dispatched that ko-bold with three arrows to the neck. I’ve earned a trio to the chest. Seems you slapped him while you’re tickling me. You doona want to kill me, which is a good sign. Maybe this is your way of flirting? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#funny

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. ↗

— Elbert Hubbard

#alive #get #life #never #out

I have a free couple of hours," I told him, walking toward my car, which was parked on the next block. "There's a very private, very secluded barn in Lookout Hill Park behind the carousel. I could be there in fifteen minutes." I heard the smile in his voice. "You want me bad. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#finale #funny #hush-hush #love #nora-and-patch

When I started my program... there was a big clock in the corner and I looked and it said nine o'clock exactly. And it was funny, because when I was standing on the podium, it said exactly 10 p.m., and this whole hour had changed my life. ↗

— Sarah Hughes

#big #changed #clock #corner #exactly

Bite me, Goth princess,” Shane called from the back. “Not literally or anything.” “Maybe you should say that to Michael.” “Not funny, Eve,” Michael said. Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. “Little bit,” she said. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh. ↗

— D. L. Hughley

#desk #funny #got #how #i

Fashions have done more harm than revolutions. ↗

— Victor Hugo

#done #fashions #harm #more #revolutions

We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars ar on there way out. ↗

— Decca Records

#humor #funny