#funny

To be unpopular, you must look the part. Remember four words: plastic flowered swim cap. ↗

— Jennifer Ziegler

#popularity #unpopularity #funny

We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #insults #sarcasm #friendship

If it’s not already written, I want to write a book called, “The Art of Raw.” But instead of using my real name, I’ll use the pseudonym, “Sun Tzushi. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#art-of-war #book #funny #pseudonym #sun-tzushi

Myrnin was silent for a beat, and then he said, "Bob would be very disappointed in you. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville #funny

He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed. ↗

— David Frost

#funny #humour #miserable #funny

Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. ↗

— Judy Blume

#realistic #funny

Next time I will do things to you that will make you lose controll in seconds" -Dimitri. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny

Gliding down the bike path on a Saturday morning, you whip by somebody peddling in the opposite direction and give each other a nod. For a moment it's like "Hey, we're both doing the same thing. Let's be friends for a second. ↗

— Neil Pasricha

#funny #like-mindedness #funny

At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time." "Made myself a batch with it," Shane said. "It's got the biohazard sticker on it in the fridge, so don't bitch if you get flamed. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#chilli #funny #morganville-vampires #funny

You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually. ↗

— John Green

#funny #late #show-up #smart #funny