#funny

Has anyone seen a raving bitch with nice hair?” Holly shouted at the bottom of the stairs. Everyone who heard her pointed in a different direction. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#laugh-out-loud #funny

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good. ↗

— Howard Stern

#blue #dead #funny #good #got

No problem. Just drop it back off before you go," he says, procuring a brass key. "And if he puts on Bowie's early stuff and starts sweet-talking, dammit, you run. You run as fast as you can. ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#funny

It's funny how close the past is, sometimes. Sometimes it seems as if you could almost reach out and touch it. Only who really wants to? ↗

— Stephen King

#funny

I think 'Saturday Night Live', starting in the 1970s, really gave women an outlet to be funny. A lot of those women went on to have film careers, from Kristen Wiig now to Tina Fey and Gilda Radner. ↗

— Emma Stone

#fey #film #funny #gave #gilda

My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken, normal human beings while I'm just a lunatic. I don't know where this loud, ballsy, hammy ridiculousness came from. I'm just glad I followed my goals and my parents did too. It's not like we even had a plan when I dragged my mom to Los Angeles. ↗

— Emma Stone

#angeles #beings #both #came #did

And there's a visceral fun in watching Team America and making it, like taking a puppet and throwing it against the wall. Because it's not CG, there's something funny about it. ↗

— Matt Stone

#against #america #because #fun #funny

Y’all might as well come on out,” I said. “I know you’re there. I can smell you.” “Smell me? But I just took a shower this morning!” an indignant voice drifted out of the shadows. There was a loud sound, like someone was getting smacked upside the head. Then another voice let out a low mutter. “Shut up, idiot. ↗

— Jennifer Estep

#billy #bobby #funny #gin-blanco #humor

So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists—they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#funny

Necrophilia is for those who arrive too late to say goodbye. Biophilia is for those who need a posthumous thrill out of life. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #necrophilia #funny