#funny

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful. ↗

— Francois Truffaut

#funny #humor #just #made #melancholy

My hatred notwithstanding, I had to admit Dimitri Beli-whatever was pretty smart ↗

— Richelle Mead

#rose #funny

The same beautiful receptionist greeted Christian who had met him before and she extended the same lush invitation as she had the last time. Victoria's eyes narrowed and Christian chuckled under his breath at her jealousy."Relax chérie, she's paid to do that." "Well, she didn't come on to me, so obviously she's not doing her job properly," Victoria said. Christian laughed. ↗

— Amalie Howard

#jealousy #romantic #supernatural #ya #beauty

I brought you a snack," Takumi said, dropping an oatmeal cream pie onto my book. "Very nutritious," I smiled. "You've got your oats. You've got your meal. You've got your cream. It's a fuckin' food pyramid. ↗

— John Green

#humor #food

Chairs have legs. Four of them, like my father. Meow.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cats #chairs #dad #family #father

Grandpa had a good life, up until the day we slaughtered him and ate him. Honestly, he raised chickens, so he should have seen it coming.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #food #funny #grandpa #humor

What smells good may not always taste good, I leaned this the day I tried to eat a scented candle. ↗

— Kenny D. Eichenberg

#funny #life #perception #food

A brick could be used to enhance your sex life. So what are you waiting for? Get that gerbil out of your pants
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a PRA, or Person Replacement Apparatus. Just give the brick a name, start talking to it, and before you know it you've got a friend for life. Say, do you want to brick swap? 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a symbol for the kind of life I’m trying to build. The question now is, what kind of life am I trying to build? Well, I guess I want stability, longevity, and I’d like it two stories, with the second story being fiction, or even pseudo nonfiction, if that makes sense in its nonsensicality. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny