#funny

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny. ↗

— Kate O'Brien

#breaks #funny

We must eschew anything trivial. We must embrace all that is frivolous.... Trivial things take up all your time and dull your senses, whereas frivolity is meaningful, profound, worth living and dying for.... If we devote our lives to frivolity, the world will be a far, far better place. Humanity will be better able to fulfill its primary goal, that of having a good time. ↗

— Cynthia Heimel

#funny #inspirational #funny

you're Shane, right?' He inched away from her and managed a quick nod as he twisted the rag he held in his fingers. 'Heidi sad you were willing to teach me how to ride.' Her expression shifted from entertained to confused, as if she was wondering why no one had mentioned he was a can or two shy of a six-pack. 'A horse,' he clarified, then wanted to kick himself. What else but a horse? Did he think she was here to learn to ride his mother's elephant? One corner of Annabelle's perfect, full mouth twitched. 'A horse would be good. You seem to have several.' He wanted to remind himself that he was usually fine around women. Smooth even. He was intelligent, funny and could, on occasion, be charming. Just not now, with his blood pumping and his brain doing nothing more than shouting "it's her, it's her" over and over again. Chemistry, he thought grimly. It could turn the smartest man into a drooling idiot. Here he was, proving the theory true. ↗

— Susan Mallery

#awkward-encounters #chemistry #shane #stupidity #funny

Yes you are right," said Pavel. "We will succeed simply because we are the best in all of world. We will get LVR by using incredible intelligence." Leon showed he was in full agreement by screaming and hitting himself repeatedly on the head. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#funny

With faces entirely invisible through suits, it was hard to be sure, but my impression was that he was watching me and copying my every move. I felt this proved he was intelligent. ↗

— Janet Edwards

#funny #future #humor #jarra #science-fiction

If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." "We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man." "Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#clever #count-olaf #funny-humor #intelligent #lemony-snicket

Jealousy is something I cultivate whenever I enter a relationship. It shows proper self-possession. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #jealousy #possession #funny

Don’t answer the door without a shirt! Now, go get dressed before you catch a cold,” I scolded. “Why? He was kinda cute. Do you think he would’ve went for it if I said I didn’t have any money?” Wesley asked. “You’re mine and I wouldn’t let you prostitute yourself for pizza. Now go put on a shirt,” I said, pulling two slices onto a plate. ↗

— J.M. Colail

#gay-romance #humor #jealousy #lgbt #relationship

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #humor #life #funny

You're not just doing that to impress her, are you?" "Everything I do is to impress her. It's my mission in life," he said with a completely serious face, while he squeezed my knee under the table. Mom burst out laughing. "I like him," she said. "Me too. I think I'll keep him," I said, taking his hand and twisting my fingers with his. "Good," he said, giving my hand a squeeze. ↗

— Chelsea M. Cameron

#funny #hunter-zaccadelli #my-favorite-mistake #sweet #taylor-and-hunter