#funny

Does anyone else day dream about what it would be like if specific age groups just dropped dead all across the world? ↗

— Christy Leigh Stewart

#funny-and-random #generation #question #age

Even Dad likes it," said Caddy, and her father agreed that he did. In a way. Being a broad-minded, tolerant, artistic sort of person. Or so people told him... "Oh, yes?" said Saffron, rolling her eyes. "Yes," said Bill, sounding a little bit peeved. "So you thank your lucky stars, my girl, because in some families you would have come home to very big trouble! A nose stud! At your age! If you come down with blood poisoning, don't blame me! ↗

— Hilary McKay

#funny #piercings #age

(On having being just proposed to) 'Have you been thinking of this for long?' she managed jerkily, praying for the shock to recede so that she could behave a little more normally. 'Let's say it crept up on me,' he suggested lightly. That didn't sound very romantic. Muggers crept up on you; so did old age. ↗

— Lynne Graham

#funny #love #man #marriage #romance

Society is so short on honest women who are comfortable with looking older as they remain thirty-nine. But there is no scarcity of women who are shamelessly exceeding thirty-nine as they continue to look nineteen. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #women #age

I make love like farm equipment—not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can’t tell it.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#farm #farm-equipment #funny #humor #love

We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#humor #love #sex #age

My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#glue #horse #humor #love #age

I had a dream about you last night... Well I say dream I mean nightmare... you were a Yankee fan. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Where the brave don't have the guts to question their immortal duty, cowards are rash about survival. ↗

— Bauvard

#cowardice #funny #humor #rashness #courage

I find that the middle finger is the universal signal of communication. I often use it to wave hello, point at someone, and convey my thoughts to deaf people. I used to use it to shake hands, but it kept getting broken. ↗

— Bauvard

#communicating #fingers #funny #gestures #hand-signals