#funny

They did that little thing on South Park, and they mentioned my name and had a character of me judging a Halloween contest. It was really funny.That made me the coolest aunt on earth. ↗

— Tina Yothers

#character #contest #coolest #did #earth

... an artist should paint from the heart, and not always what people expect. Predictability often leads to the dullest work, in my opinion, and we have been bored stiff long enough I think. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#artists #arts-and-humanities #be-yourself #creative-people #creative-process

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fear #fright #frightened #funny #humor

The essence of courage is timing. Take me, for example. I’ll show up to fight anybody, anywhere. I’ll just show up a day late. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #timing #courage

Yes it is" Eragon said before his courage left him "just like you ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#funny #courage

I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cranberries #dating #funny #humor #music

And since I’m marrying into the Quartet, I have certain privileges and duties. If you’re sleeping with Laurel—” “I’m not sleeping with Laurel. We’re dating.” “Right, and the two of you are just going to hold hands, admire the moon, and sing camp songs.” “For a while. Minus the singing. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#friends #funny #humor #relationships #dating

I had a dream about you last night.. You kept screaming at Ted Danson to pour you a drink. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I love to stalk. I love to stalk you real, real good. I took your name home after our date and we had the best Google session of my life. ↗

— Anyta Sunday

#dating

Staring at my smoldering hot date, her husband stands tall for the first time in a decade, adjusting his toupee while flashing a horrid green toothy grin that looks more like a Steven Hawkins muscle spasm. In his hands, a frightened beer bottle is choked with the steel grip of a sexually repressed Preacher. ↗

— Brett Tate

#funny #humor #humour #memoir #sex