#funny

We may not be all that bright, Jace said, but at least we are alive. ↗

I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs. ↗

Whoa, Rebecca," Talia said smiling even wider, "Walking on the wild side, are we?" Raisa seemed to think the situation needed more explaining. "He - uh - I'm tutoring him." "She is," Han said solemnly. "She's very good. I'm learning a lot." Pearlie snickered. "What's she teaching you?" "Well," Han said, "we're jumping around a lot. ↗

— Cinda Williams Chima

#han-alister #raisa #funny

Daddy is trying really fugging hard to think of a not-terrifying reason why you'd wake Daddy up in the middle of the night to ask that fugging question. But no. No. Daddy does not have a match or a lighter. ↗

— John Green

#hassan #funny

Aside from fear itself, what do we have to fear? Well, perhaps anagrams of fear, like Ear F, the all-hearing being of the universe. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #universe #funny

That really was NOT fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? NOT fun. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny

Rule #1: Always test your sexual prowess on state workers first. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#sexual-prowess #funny

I want to make pants out of tuna fish, to accompany my cottage cheese thighs. ↗