#funny

If I were a superhero, I’d be Honesty Man. I’d be so transparent I’d be invisible.
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— Jarod Kintz

#honesty #humor #invisible #super-hero #transparent

In the past five minutes, I had managed to tease my libido, scald my crotch, and catch a world-class elbow with my forehead. ↗

— B. Justin Shier

#humour #funny

Are you having fun playing with those plastic 3-D models of ears, noses and throats? That’s kind of like what I do, except instead of cute little plastic models, it’s living human tissue, and instead of playing, I’m fucking working, and instead of fun, it’s fucking not fun, it’s serious. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#funny #humor #funny

Funny how at twenty-five you worry about not being taken seriously and take being a sex object for granted. Later you take being taken seriously for granted, and worry about not being a sex object. ↗

— Helen Fielding

#sex-object #funny

Love like you owe nothing, and pay in full. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

Hugs usually mean more than just a hug. ↗

— Becca Ann

#hayley #hugs #love #funny

Sometimes, when it’s going badly, she wonders if what she believes to be a love of the written word is really just a fetish for stationery. The true writer, the born writer, will scribble words on scraps of litter, the back of a bus tickets, on the wall of a cell. Emma is lost on anything less than 120gsm. ↗

— David Nicholls

#funny #stationary #writer #writing #written-word

It's not just love, or desire, but something profoundly less complex, as unadorned and simple as the vehicle code. Officer laughs, cries. Tearful and giddy, she whales on her demonstrator with what she realizes is joy in her heart. ↗

— Daniel Orozco

#love

Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

When I was younger I used to think that band-aids did all the work. I mean after all, it binds your wound together and makes everything better back to the way it was. But then I became an adult and started to fall in love,fvi and I realize that band-aids are so overrated lol. ↗

— Onee'sha Ford

#funny #humor #love #love