#funny

It’s commonplace to nitpick on minor faults. But it's exceptional to correct them through enlargement. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #self-improvement #funny

So you're here by yourself?" “Yes." “Seems like an odd place to come by yourself." “I needed to get away." “Woman trouble? That's another of my father's expressions." “No, actually. I poisoned my neighbor's dogs." After a moment she said, “How drunk are you?" “Quite." “Is that true?" “What?" “That you poisoned your neighbor’s dogs." “I’m afraid it is." “I have dogs." “Well, keep them away from me. ↗

— David Gilmour

#funny #death

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. ↗

— Ernest Hemingway

#funny #got #lot #man #punishment

I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer ↗

— James Patterson

#experience

When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not. ↗

— Joseph Bologna

#between #distinction #either #entertaining #exciting

So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work. ↗

— Joseph Bologna

#day #deal #funny #going #hold

I awake with a not entirely sickened knowledge that I am merely young again and in a funny way at peace, an observer who is aware of time's chariot, aware that some metamorphosis has occurred. ↗

— Harold Brodkey

#am #awake #aware #chariot #entirely

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented. ↗

— Julie Brown

#being funny #demented #face #figure #funny

A rich man's joke is always funny. ↗

— Thomas Edward Brown

#funny #joke #man #rich

The lot of the bride to be wed before bed desired until rotten. The lot of the author to be read before bed admired then forgotten. ↗

— Roman Payne

#authors #brides #desire #funny #humor