#funny

Nice costume," he said. "Ditto. I can tell you put a lot of thought into yours." Amusement curled his mouth. "If you don't like it, I can take it off. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#finale #funny #hush-hush #love #nora-grey

She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not... you know, better." "Define BETTER with that guy." "Not all fangs and raaaaar. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass #morganville-vampires

What do you think Dimitri? Is this a good idea, Dimitri? Please give us your blessing so that we can fall down and worship you, Dimitri. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #funny

And she didn't once say anything about this being a sin. It used to be I got the word sin slapped in my face every time I did something wrong, but come on, when you live in a sin-free family with sin-free parents and a sin-free sister, well, you can't help but sin a little extra on their behalf. ↗

— Han Nolan

#humor #sins #family

One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was from my mom. When I was a little kid there was a kid who was bugging me at school and she said “Okay, I’m gonna tell you what to do. If the kid’s bugging you and puts his hands on you; you pick up the nearest rock... ↗

— Johnny Depp

#bullies #funny #johnny-depp #mom #funny

The training part," I guessed. "Yup. You're going to be Dimitri's partner." A moment of funny silence fell, probably not noticeable to anyone except Dimitri and me. Our eyes met. "Guarding partner," Dimitri clarified unnecessarily, like maybe he too had been thinking of other kinds of partners. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#richelle-mead #rose #vampier-acadmey #funny

Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #nose-job #one-liner #funny

I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

It’s not: I jumped in, and it was cold. No. It was cold, and I jumped in. Always arrange a sentence so you appear to be fearless, when in fact you are far less than fearless—you are clueless. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#appearances #clueless #fear #fearless #funny

Um...Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed-- ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#archer-cross #funny #hex-hall #humor #mercer