#funny

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#chance #housework #kill #take #take a chance

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#accidentally #day #enjoyed #ever #gin

I do not think that obsession is funny or that not being able to stop one's intensity is funny. ↗

— Jim Dine

#being #funny #i #i do #intensity

If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny. ↗

— Mary Douglas

#compete #funny #group #leadership #people

I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. ↗

— Lena Dunham

#funny person #i #like #myself #never

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny. ↗

— Nora Dunn

#being funny #enjoy #funny #i #never

I wish I had a funny story. ↗

— Leslie Easterbrook

#funny story #had #i #i wish #story

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. ↗

— Clint Eastwood

#heaven #lightning #made #marriages #say

I just think that it's such a good show and timeless and still very funny, and that just makes me happy to have that whole first season in one concentrated space for people to enjoy so that it's not hit and miss trying to find it in syndication always. ↗

— Jenna Elfman

#concentrated #enjoy #find #first #funny

Promise me, Amelie, that you’ll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love.” “I hardly think there’s any chance of that,” Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass