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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." "We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man." "Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart.


Lemony Snicket


#clever #count-olaf #funny-humor #intelligent #lemony-snicket

Jealousy is something I cultivate whenever I enter a relationship. It shows proper self-possession.


Bauvard


#humor #jealousy #possession #funny

Don’t answer the door without a shirt! Now, go get dressed before you catch a cold,” I scolded. “Why? He was kinda cute. Do you think he would’ve went for it if I said I didn’t have any money?” Wesley asked. “You’re mine and I wouldn’t let you prostitute yourself for pizza. Now go put on a shirt,” I said, pulling two slices onto a plate.


J.M. Colail


#gay-romance #humor #jealousy #lgbt #relationship

People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.


Logan P. Smith


#i #life #people #people say #prefer

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.


Ellen DeGeneres


#funny #humor #life #funny

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.


Brooke Shields


#important #killed #kills #life #lost

Some people were just getting on with their lives, chatting, being young. It simply wouldn't do.


Russell Brand


#funny #life #youth #funny

Only then did I see. Something was amiss with Patrick's snap-on one piece, or "onesie" as we manly dads like to call it. His chubby thighs, I now realized, were squeezed into the armholes, which were so tight they must have been cutting off his circulation. The collared neck hung between his legs like an udder. Up top, Patrick's head stuck out through the unsnapped crotch, and his arms were lost somewhere in the billowing pant legs. It was quite a look.


John Grogan


#john-grogan #funny

...that was before I'd started thinking about how life stuck on a ship wouldn't be so bad if Elder walked around pantless more.


Beth Revis


#life

My life needs editing.


Mort Sahl


#editing #life #my life #needs






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