#hilarious

Michael, don’t,” Eve said. “He won’t hurt us.” Andeveryone rolled their eyes at that. Even Jason, which was borderline hilarious. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#hilarious

...I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. "Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, "I yelled. "I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday I threw up on Joe Morelli. I was called a fat cow by my ex-husband. And if that isn't enough...my hair is ORANGE! ORANGE, FOR CHRISSAKE! And now you have the gall to force yourself into my home and threaten my hamster. Well, you have gone too far. You have crossed the line! ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #hilarious

We were the guys on the other side. It was hilarious. ↗

— David Steinberg

#hilarious #other #side #were

It's hilarious a lot of times. You have a conversation with someone, and he's like, 'You speak so well!' I'm like, 'What do you mean? Do you understand that's an insult? ↗

— Jay-Z

#hilarious #i #insult #like #lot

Terrorism is just a whole other level of anger management issues. ↗

— Thisuri Wanniarachchi

#hilarious #humor #terrorism #anger

He even dressed up for you. He only has one stain on his t-shirt.- Rylie Cruz ↗

— Rose Pressey

#dating

Actually, I wouldn't mind a Malibu and coke." "You're having a fucking pint." "Is my choice of drink too gay for you?" "Malibu and coke is a pussy drink. Last I heard you were strictly anti-pussy. ↗

— L.A. Gilbert

#hilariousness #non-p-c #funny

Tex's head snapped in my direction. Fuckin' A, woman, you've never had a s'more? he boomed I shook my head. Christ, everyone's gotta have a s'more before they die. Fuck that shit, I'll build a fire in my backyard tonight and I'll stop by Kumar's on the way home to get the stuff. Everyone can come by- ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#hector #hilarious #regret #rock-chick #sadie

Thankyou,"Catherine said, the smile still hovering on her lips. "That is kind of you my lord. But i will never dance with you." Which, ofcourse, made it the goal of leo's life. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#leo-hathaway #life

Mockery be damned, my urine looked delicious. ↗

— Yann Martel

#life-of-pi #survival #life