#hilarious

June cackled with delight, muttering, "Whoops!" as a car almost killed them. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#hilarious #humor #june #laugh-at-loud #rick-riordan

She winced and covered her ears as Eric,onstage, wrestled with his microphone. "Sorry about that, guys!" he yelled. "All right. I'm Eric, and this is my homeboy Matt on the drums. My first poem is called 'Untitled.'" He screwed up his face as if in pain, and wailed into the mike. "Come my faux juggernaut, my nefarious loins! Slather every protuberance with arid zeal!" Simon slid down in his seat. "Please don't tell anyone I know him." Clary giggled. "Who uses the word 'loins'?" "Eric," Simon said grimly. "All his poems have loins in them." 'Turgid is my torment!" Eric wailed. "Agony swells within!" "You bet it does," Clary said. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#eric #hilarious #poems #poetry-critic #simon-lewis

Merlin seeks assistance from Pigwiggen, the only one of Arthur's knights who is also a fairy, and they unite their enchantments to move the British Court to Turkestan. Lively end to Act One. ↗

— Davies Robertson

#gibberish #hilarious #humanities #lyre-of-orpheus #art

Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#hilarious #witty #funny

Mockery be damned, my urine looked delicious. ↗

— Yann Martel

#life-of-pi #survival #life

Cryptic Dad is cryptic,' I muttered ... We'd hung out all day today. Was there no time in there he could have said, 'Oh, hey, meet me at the magical bookcase at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow, cool? ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#hilarious

Who are you?" I asked. "You know who I am," he replied. "I'm yours." ~Clea / Sage, pg. 105 ↗

— Hilary Duff

#hilarious

It's better to keep grief inside. Grief inside works like bees or ants, building curious and perfect structures, complicating you. Grief outside means you want something from someone, and chances are good you won't get it. ↗

— Hilary Thayer Hamann

#hilarious

It is the absence of facts that frightens people: the gap you open, into which they pour their fears, fantasies, desires. ↗

— Hilary Mantel

#knowledge #hilarious

Thats what happens to Snow in Texas, lady. It freaking MELTS!!" Leo Valdez- The Lost Hero ↗

— Rick Riordan

#earth #freak #heo #heroes #hilarious