#hum

Me? Oh, intellectually I believe in having a good heart, a chirpy penis, a lively intelligence, and the courage to say ‘shit!’ in front of a lady. ↗

— D.H. Lawrence

#courage

Dumb is just not knowing. 'Ditzy' is having the courage to ask! ↗

— Jessica Simpson

#courage

I had a dream about you last night... you sat in a cardboard box and said you were a tree. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

You have some balls." Frankie hated that expression, ever since Zada had pointed out to her that it equates courage with the male equipment... ↗

— E. Lockhart

#humor #inspirational #courage

What can bombs know of the illuminated fields so golden with heaven in your heart’s sacred lands? ↗

— Aberjhani

#faith #heaven #hope #humanity #massacre

If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. Once begun upon this downward path, you never know where you are to stop. Many a man has dated his ruin from some murder or other that perhaps he thought little of at the time. ↗

— Thomas de Quincey

#wit #dating

Lysistrata: Oh, Calonicé, my heart is on fire; I blush for our sex. Men will have it we are tricky and sly... Calonicé: And they are quite right, upon my word! Lysistrata: Yet, look you, when the women are summoned to meet for a matter of the last importance, they lie abed instead of coming. Calonicé: Oh, they will come, my dear; but 'tis not easy you know, for a woman to leave the house. One is busy pottering about her husband; another is getting the servant up; a third is putting her child asleep or washing the brat or feeding it. ↗

— Aristophanes

#humor #women #business

It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy patting myself on the back. But if I clap for you, and you pat my back, we can both feel like winners.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

The whole experience reminded me of my own 'old lady' phase that I went through in high school while I was reading Somerset Maugham... The embroidered sweaters, the costume jewelry... I remember genuinely WANTING to be old then, to act as if the business of my life was already all but over, and that I was preternaturally wise because of it... God, the stupid things you'll do to try and meet boys... ↗

— Chris Ware

#business

After twenty-two years of marriage, we had outgrown the challenge of making something out of nothing. The nesting instincts just weren't there anymore. I no longer hyperventilated over a melon keeper that I bought at a Tupperware party. I now worshipped at the shrine of convenience and Sara Lee. Bill no longer rushed home to make bird houses in the basement. He wanted to sleep in his BarcaLounger so he wouldn't be so tired when he went to bed. It was as if we were closing the door on the years of struggle. It wasn't fun anymore. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#home